Belgsch

Ajective/Noun: "Belgian" To most English speakers, the word "Belgian" basically denotes expensive chocolates that girls seem to like. It is not fair, because Belgium has some other, although not many, things going for it, such as being a border nation of Holland, and a low average IQ.

I should explain. It is not that I have anything against Belgium, but I am trying my best to re-intergrate into Holland, and you know what they say about a common enemy. It is like the geeky kid at school who joins in on picking on the new kid who is thankfully even more geeky than myself... I mean, the geek. Who definitely wasn't me.

[...]

Hey, we are supposed to be picking on the Belgsch right now! I wasn't expecting some sort of Spanish inquisition.

The Belgsch are the Dutch's friendly neighbours to the south, and are kind of like what Canada is to America. Then again, Belgium is also France's Canada, so that sucks doubly for them. Maybe the Belgsch can pick on the Luxembourgians or something. Maybe that will give them some self-esteem back.

To the Dutch, the Belgsch are stereotyped as stupid, slow, always repeat themselves, and are stupid. They are always the punchline of the racial jokes you have all over the world, like this one:

"Did you know the Belgian Ministry of Transport has introduced a new sign?
It reads "End of Roundabout""

This stereotype is probably in large part to the Dutch-speaking half of Belgium being such ant fuckers when it comes to the Dutch language. They see themselves as the true keepers of the Dutch language, as if it contained the answers to the holy grail. This is despite the fact that they can't even pronnounce a proper hard "G" sound. This choking-like gutteral utterance (or "gutterance") is the hallmark of the Dutch language. Sure, it sounds like giving a voice to lung-cancer, but at least it doesn't sound Belgsh. This is the reason I prefer to say "Belgsch", which is best pronnounced with a ridiculously exaggerated hard "g". Optimally, it would make other people want to give you the heimlich maneuver half way through saying it. Stick it to them and their soft "G", I say.

As an added, although unintential, bonus, "Belgsch" also sounds like one of my favourite bodily functions. Well, it would definitely be in the top 15. If this adds to the belittling of Belgium, then all the better! I will have done my small part, and been able to more easily pass for one of the (Dutch) guys.


Example sentences:

"I love Belgsch beer"
"What happened to your "G"? Do you have a lisp and a cold, or are you just a Belgsch?"