Sukkel

Noun: a loser (person), a pushover, a fall guy, a sap, a coward, a dweeb, e.t.c.

Sukkel is another Dutch word which can be used as an effective insult, but doesn't necessarily have to be. It isn't a particularly stinging insult, but the nature of the word makes it a great way to kick somebody who is already on the ground. The nuances of the word suckel might best be explained by certain scenarios.


Scenario One: The chronic sukkel

Some people are just born sukkels. They are people who, no matter what they seem to do, bad luck will follow them. However, at a certain point, you begin to lose pity for them. I mean, "the only common demominator from all your bad luck is you", right? And who knows, maybe these people want to keep up their sukkel-ing ways. The most classic example of a chronic sukkel would be William H. Macy from the movie, The Cooler. Bernie Lootz is such a sukkel, that he is employed by a casino owner to walk around the casino and 'cool down' people with a hot hand. Of course, he is such a sukkel that after a while, he can't even be a sukkel anymore.

What a sukkel.


Scenario two: The klutz.

This one is pretty simple. It is hard to have pity for people who break your stuff, no matter how sorry they are.

Okay okay, stop looking at me like that! I forgive you. You sukkel.


Scenario three: The wimp

The coward is a classic sukkel, and gives anecdotal evidence that sukkeling is a character flaw rather than unavoidable bad luck. This video is of a sukkel at a baseball game who dodges the ball coming towards him, letting it hit his girlfriend instead.



Notice the way that the girlfriend doesn't appear to be angry at him. She is a sukkel too.


Scenario four: The easy victim

For some people, it is just too easy.
If you try to take the money, you are such a sukkel.


Scenario five: The pussy-whipped guy

This is related to scenario four, and is often the most tragic form of sukkel-ism. You know, the guy who changes everything in his life for a girl. You know, the guy who disowns all their old friends, stops drinking beer, and starts wearing pleated pants? We all know someone like that. This form of social-castration is all the more tragic as it is brought on by somebody else.

This guy: such a sukkel

Of course, there are different levels of being pussy-whipped, but all of them makes you a sukkel. If you help an ex-girlfriend move your old furniture into her new boyfriend's house, you're a sukkel. If you see a girl on the side of the highway with a broken down car and you stop to help, you're a sukkel. If you pay a stripper a tenner for a lap dance and she doesn't even show partial nipple, you're a sukkel.



Hopefully, you have understood the different forms of sukkels in the world, and if you haven't, send me 10 dollars and I will explain it to you. (Sukkels)